wickedflea | (no subject)

OK, I have a cell phone these days, but I'm still kind of a fuddy-duddy about them. I just hate to see people checking out at the grocery store and flapping their gums off like everyone around them is just so eager to hear what they have to say. I want to say, "Goddamnit, there's a living, breathing human being scanning your stuff right there in front of you, and you can't be bothered to say hello to him?"

Dude was on the bus today going on and on to some poor bastard on the other end of the line about how wonderful the new technology is, and he obviously thinks that the rest of us are lucky to be on the bus with him to hear him drop science. Big, old, fat-ass white guy with a perm, talking about "the reason computers use so much power is because of the way they work." No SHIT? That's deep, yo. Then he got to talking about the Oscars and how they don't just throw those around to anyone. (I refrained from saying anything about Melanie Griffith or Marisa Tomei.) Then he said -- and I have not the foggiest hint of a notion what this means -- "Halle Berry is the Alicia Keys of Hollywood."

What killed me was the kids sitting behind him. They were making fun of him, plenty loud enough for him to hear if only he had come out of his cell-phone trance for a moment (which, of course, he didn't). "Motherfucker got a cell phone, I wanna know why motherfucker ain't got no car!" I was dying.