(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I dunno if this is a hazing thing or what the fuck. All's I know is that this joker was running down the street near the strip on a flippin' Wednesday afternoon with a damn Alabama flag on his shoulder. He was SO PROUD that I was taking his picture, too.

You'll notice the big "A" is also on his right arm. And on his left arm is the word "jammer" (part of the 'Bama cheer "Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer"). I'm sure "rammer" must appear on the other arm, and it's a distinct possibility that he has "yellow hammer" emblazoned on the insides of his thighs. "Jammer" seems to be tattooed backwards or something. I guess it's probably so it shows up correctly if he holds his arms a certain way when he's jacking off in the mirror or something.

I can't believe I live here.

Comments

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

The love for football, when applied to the southern states, is a scary, scary beast.

That, and Nascar.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, Nascar. I really hadn't known any Nascar-crazed folks until I moved to Virginia. I was out on my one and only trip out selling Kirby vacuum cleaners. This nutso "van leader", Junebug, had the goddamn race on the radio all day long in the van as we went door-to-door all over southwest Virginia imploring people to let us in their homes and show them our attachments, and he and the rest of the guys were INTENTLY INTO IT. On the RADIO. I asked them if they were actually serious, and of course they treated me like a heretic.

For that and many other reasons, I did not continue my employment as a member of Junebug's Squad of Vacuum Hawkers.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

You...hawked vacuums? DOOR TO DOOR? That shit really exists? KASDJFKASDJF AASHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"hey lady, lemme show you my attachments..."
you perverts.

and yeah. getting excited about Nascar on the radio...only in Virginia, man. Nascar is serious bidness in those parts.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

FOR ONE DAY OMGZ I NEEDED A JOB

Err. Sorry. :D

Yeah, I was looking for a job and thought it would be a trip! And oh brother, it was, but not one I could handle. Actually all we had to do was demo them, and then Junebug would come in and try to sell them. But it was still an ugly, savage scene. :( I got thrown out of one house when I pulled out my hose.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

"I got thrown out of one house when I pulled out my hose."

YOU.SLAY.ME.

I think I'm really five years old at heart or something. PEE PEE JOKES. Christ.

And hell, I've done all sorts of weird shit to make money. I've been in the job world for twenty years now, which is just sad. Tryin' to think of what the ickiest was...

I think being a nanny (I know! ME!) to my aunt's sister's kids. She would go to work, come home, and then 'call the corners' wiccan style with this fat wildebeast of a man who used to sit there and stare at me from the bedroom door really late at night. And there was no bathroom door so he would sit there and watch and wait for me to use the bathroom.

I was so grossed out I once ran outside and pee'd behind a tree.

I just hijacked this thread, huh?

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

You can hijack me anytime!

And OMG, you as a nanny?! With a wildebeast prevert in the house!!! GOLD

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I always hated baby sitting. And then the whole nanny thing...well, I was desperate. Obviously.

Her kids were just fine, actually. It was the no bathroom door, the wildebeast spying on me and then him strutting around the house in his large frayed underpants and peeing in the woods that sent me over the edge. UGH.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

GAHHHH. People are out of their goddam gourds.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

oh, and you know what? people actually try to tell me that virginia isn't all that southern.

In what fucking universe? Push the NoVA/DC area aside, and it's straight up deliverance shit. Nascar on the radio, pig scrambles at the county fair, losers who refuse to accept Virginia is no longer the capitol of the fuckin' south...

Yeah, that's not southern *at all*.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, shit, before I moved there I kinda had that misconception. But I'll tell you what, that is a straight-up redneck state. I swear, I met so many more out-and-out NASCAR/NRA/Mountain Dew/Confederate Flag peckerwoods there than I EVER did in Mississippi. And those jokers will fuckin SHOOT you.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

and this comment FOR THE WIN!

*goal*

right ON, sing it, brotha!

(ps: peckerwoods. I GOTTA remember that the next time I do mad libs!)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

. . . so of COURSE you know I googled "peckerwood" . . .

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

!!!!

HAHASHHASDFASDFASDFASDFF


< dies >

Sounds like a show on the WB. Staring Tyra Banks or some shit.