Down to the Lizards

Yeah, I know. Sorry -- I guess I shoulda put a disclaimer!

But really, whaddya expect when you see words "pierced tongues" and "fishing lines and razor blades" in the same post? :P

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If these are the people who are going to be running the country in a few decades then I want out of here *now*. I don't want these people taking care of me when I get old.

I've seen a couple of jackasses who split their tongues but they are usually the type that you see at the freak show with full body tats and piercings.

Bleeeeee. And ick. And I think I just threw my back out shuddering.

Can't wait until these kids are forty. Either they will be running for the plastic surgeons or they will look like burnt out old crack whores as everything stretches out and sags.

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Yeah, I saw that in another journal earlier today, and then as I was commenting on it (You know, some people do that to their weiners.), I was looking for a picture of a good 'ol dink splitting....but instead I came across a sort of body-mod dictionary. I thought this one was the most absurd and without a doubt has the stupidest name ever.

Meatotomy: The surgical lengthening of the meatus - the hole at the tip of the penis where the urethra exits. Usually performed on the lower (thinner) portion to extend the meatus downwards.

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Isn't that what they did to Hank Hill because of his narrow urethra? (G)

Actually I think that is a procedure done on infants who are born with certain birth defects. I can't imagine why an adult would want to do that to themselves, although I understand there are tribes in Africa that insert thorns into their meatuses and twirl them around to make themselves bleed.

In a way, I wish they'd just slip and clip the goods so they would remove themselves from the gene pool.

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Holy sheep shit -- the MEATUS? That's classic!

"Say, Dan -- that's one heckuva long meatus you got there!"

"Thanks, Scott. As you may know, I've always been insecure about the length of my meatus. So, this summer I went to Tijuana and had the procedure done."

"The procedure? How does it work?

"Well, I paid a girl on the street twenty bucks and SHE SLICED ME. Best money I ever spent."

"I'll say."

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Indeed. I'm all for our leaders being slightly bent (see my Billy Bob/Carville/HST post), but that's taking it a bit far.

It really is going to be funny when those people turn up on the Ricki Lake show. "And today's topic is 'TEENAGE INDITHCRETHIONS HAVE LEFT ME A LISHPING CURIOTHITY!'"

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*rolls eyes*

I guess there's a certain humor in it (have you seen the "comparison shopping" commercial where the conservative parents are railing at their daughter, not for getting her tongue pierced, but for not being more like her heavilly pierced brother and looking for the best "deal"?)

I can't imagine having a split tongue would help you work in sales, teaching, public relations, the medical field, social work or politics. Can you see a lawyer with a split tongue? (Wait, they have forked tongues already, don't they?....) ;-<

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Yep, that's exactly what they did to Hank Hill did for his narrow urethra....haha

If you have a weak stomach, don't click here.

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I have meatus envy. I only wish I had a meatus so that I could meatotomize it.

Dude, your comment made me laugh out loud. Really loud. It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything. HAHAHA!!

So I wonder if you split your meatus, if it would become meatii?? Either way, next time someone pisses me off, I'ma tell 'em "F. U. meatus!"

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Well, if that's not the craziest shit I have ever seen, I don't know. People are nucking futz.

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zoe.livejournal.com

I went and mistakingly clicked through via

scottobear's journal yesterday and nearly hurled. It seriously took me a couple hours to recouperate.

needless to say... today... I am in love with my non segmented, non peirced, boring ole' tongue.

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As gross as meatuses and severed tongues may be, it pales in comparison to how grossed out I was when I read about someone's "inner thigh chafing" problems the other day....**shudders**....eww!

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acadiabaird.livejournal.com

nice addendum

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electrcspacegrl.livejournal.com

I won't even click on that link. I cannot look at any more massacred tongue pictures without shuddering for days.

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kay.livejournal.com

I think I need to throw up now ::nods::

Why the fuck would someone want to mutilate him/herself like that is beyond me. If I'd meet a man, and saw that ... I'd run like hell. Ewwwww .....

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cierrablue.livejournal.com

oh my god. That person needs serious mental help. I have never actually shouted the words "WHAT THE FUCK!" before today. Then a resounding "OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT THE HELL!"

They did that with a razor blade? That's just really fucked up. Excuse all the profanity but I truly believe the situation calls for it. I am actually nausiated now. What a freak. Literally. A completely shameless bid for attention.

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buscemi.livejournal.com

That is some scary shit. I feel like I'm watching one of those medical films in high school.

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Yeah, it boggles my mind too. People just get weirder and weirder, don't they? *shakes head*

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You've truly offended me with all your profanity, cb. I never use such language. ;)

I know, it's just pathetic. I mean, when it comes to body modification and all that, I try to take a "to each his own" mentality. It certainly ain't for me, but hey, whatever floats your boat, you know. I say I TRY to keep that mentality. But when I see something like this, I just want to slap the dog shit of someone. God or Mother Nature or the Big Bang or evolution or whatever made your tongue the shape it is for a reason, dammit. I just don't get it. I can't stand when I get a little sore or ulcer or whatever on my tongue; the idea of a GAPING FUCKING WOUND there is just beyond me.

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I know! She'll probably be featured in one of those really bad films they show in school. "Candie was just a normal girl until one day when, on a lark, she decided to get a small tongue piercing. And now she looks LIKE THIS!!!" AGGGGH!

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